17 March 2017

The Hero Quest Hero Quest: The Fourth Orc

He's Mean and GREEN!!

Thoughts on Orcs by BulldogLopez

Orcs are green things that live in holes and eat humans for fun. They like working for bad guys with loads of treasure because humans like treasure and Orcs like to eat humans for fun.

Did I mention that orcs like to eat humans for fun? They do.

Here is a picture of a cleaver.


One time a silly human was wandering around the forest (probably looking for treasure) when he ran into this orc. The human took out some white dice and threw them at the orc. He laughed a silly human laugh when the dice showed three silly shields.

The orc cut off the human's arms and laughed. His joke was better.


The human didn't scream for long because he ran out of blood. Humans are so silly.


This orc was painted with green paint because green is the best color. His tunic is blue because this orc sometimes like the color blue. Did I mention green is the best color? The cleaver is covered in human blood.

Humans are silly.
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18 comments:

  1. Andrew17 March 2017 at 00:51

    Great, now I can move on to rotten tormenting Blue about his orc. Excellent work!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Captain Crooks17 March 2017 at 01:08

    Those links, my eyes, I cannot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bulldoglopez17 March 2017 at 01:09

      Forever will they dominate your destiny

      Delete
    2. Mr Papafakis17 March 2017 at 03:33

      You've found a brother in arms there Crooksy :DDD

      Delete
  3. Asslessman17 March 2017 at 07:56

    This orc is great, he's the greatest. Many people say he's great, great people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bulldoglopez17 March 2017 at 08:12

      He is the orciest orc ever, ever. Believe me.

      Delete
  4. Whiskey Priest17 March 2017 at 09:17

    Orcier than Orc McOrk of the clan McOrk on St PatOrcs day!

    ReplyDelete
  5. cheetor/sho3box17 March 2017 at 09:29

    Good work on the orc. It's great. Thanks for taking part.

    The words are very good. They must have taken you months.

    KTHXBAI

    ReplyDelete
  6. theottovonbismark17 March 2017 at 09:50

    Very cleaver paint job. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. airbornegrove2617 March 2017 at 12:23

    Where can I get one of those cleavers? Amazon?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bulldoglopez18 March 2017 at 00:06

      Overstock

      Delete
    2. The Composer18 March 2017 at 04:37

      At one time you could get them by collecting stamps from your local grocer and turning them in for lovely toys. And they pair up well with the flatwear you could, at one time, get from the bottom of boxes of laundry detergent. The moral of the story? Don't cross the people that buy groceries or laundry detergent. Especially if they're fond of green. (I suppose I really should go change that load of laundry now. Been procrastinating about that. It was so much less work when my lair was in the basement with my washing machine.)

      Delete
  8. Sean17 March 2017 at 15:00

    All other Orc skin tones are bullshit! Greenskin 4 Life!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lasgunpacker17 March 2017 at 16:10

    Cleaver orc is by far the bestest.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dai17 March 2017 at 20:02

    Very green that fellow.

    Green + Blue make a fishy mess.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Composer18 March 2017 at 04:39

    Lovely green fellow! Indeed, green is the best color. And orkish cleavers should be shiny and red . . . at least until the "paint" turns brown.

    ReplyDelete