Microcheating

The latest internet induced fear to sweep the communication pathways of the world is the concept of Microcheating. In the world of loving relationships with another person (or orc, or car or 20 sided dice, we don't judge here at scale creep) Microcheating is essentially any activity that you do that could be seen as disloyal to your partner. Things such as liking someones picture on social media, complementing a new haircut, sharing an 'in joke' with a colleague. All of these could be described as cheating on your significant other because you should be giving them all your attention, GODAMMIT ALL OF YOUR ATTENTION!!!!

This got me to thinking though, as gamers we do all sorts of things that are probably against the rules but aren't really 'shagging the blonde girl with the big boobs from accounts on the managers desk while your wife is at home with the screaming brats' kind of cheating. We do them on occasion though, we microcheat during games, whether we're being competitive or not, you may recognise yourself in some of these.

'Forgetting to write that thing on your army list'

You know, that plasma pistol that you royally paid for that your squad noob pulls out of his cassock and blasts a big hole through the enemy WarBoss's face. You totally just 'forgot' t write it down didn't you. No one asks to read your army list any way!

'Adding up your list 'wrong''

Who cares if you are one or two points over the limit? Everybody does it. Whats 5 points between friends? It doesn't give me much of an advantage. I mean if I have 10 point more than he does it's not going to change the outcome of the game. It's only some armour and a weapon. If i'm over by 25 points then it's not really worth telling them. If I did that for every 50 points I was over in a game then I'd never finish telling folk what was in my list.....
But then... you can hear "Oh well with 10 more points I could have got a better armour and that 5 would have been saved and my boss would still be here and... blablabla"

'Re-rolling a dice that wasn't really that cocked'

It's cocked! So's that one.....and that one.....maybe that one too.....

'Putting that figure back in the wrong place'

Wow. I haven't seen that figure in years. You've done a lovely job on the high-lighting. You've got to love the 'heft' of metal figures. He was about here wasn't he.....

'Counting the number of shots badly'

I don't think he's shot yet...or him...I forgot about him
1,2,3 lots....
I think this bucket of dice is 36....

'Nudging that unit just a little bit further forward'

I'll just measure the first figure and move the rest while you are making your move.
They are just going to move into line with that unit there.
Oops, they should be there.

'Of course he's got a saving throw'

I know he looks naked with a red posing pouch but all my figures have mesh armour....of course I paid for it.... YES! 6!

'Inability to accurately interpret imperial measurements'

Thats about 6 inches....
He was in range before....
He's obviously in charge range....
(note from the french guy : IT'S A THING !)

'Casual interpretation of Army lists'

Of course they can have Shruiken Catapults! Now, 16 shots with following fire.....
All of my Ogryns can get Ripper guns.....

'Innocent rerolls'

*Everyone's chatting loudly"
"erm sooo. I'm rolling my psychic/stupidity/save/whatever test guys !"

*Noone paying attention, rolls worst outcome possible*
"Have you rolled for your psychic/stupidity/save/whatever test ?"
"errr...nope..."

'The rule scholar'

"What toughness is your guy ?"
"5."
"Dat guy is T5 ? I'd have sworn he's T4... You sure ?"
"Mec please, I've been playing that army for 20 years now,  he's toughness 5"
"Alright, then no wounds I guess..."
"Yeah, too bad !"

*Later checks toughness at home while unpacking and realises it was toughness 4 the whole time*

'What are we playing again ?'

Some games we know by heart. Or actually, we know a messy mixture of several editions of it. It can be confusing especially when you even start to get confused between games (no overwatch in Mordheim ? You sure ?) or when you're just lost about what to do (does charging double your attacks or just adds one or just lets you strike first GYAAAAHHH).

Turn 1 : Yeah, combat is in order of initiative.
Turn 2 : Yeah actually charging models strike first
Turn 3 : Yeah actually this guy has "strikes first"
Turn 4 : Yeah, lemme check something...


Let's admit to ourselves, we've all done one or more of these in our time. It's time to own up. Make it part of you.

Say it all together.

Loud and Proud.

'I'm (state your name) and i'm a Micro-cheating Bastard.'