29 October 2019

Witness Weekend Pt.2 The Cargasmatronic FREA-quel

ATTENTION CREEPERS. YOU NOW HAVE ONE MINUTE TO REACH MINIMUM SAFE DISTANCE...

Actually I meant one second *SQUELCH*


...are you still here? Well... GOOD. Those who are about to read this, we salute you!

Welcome to the second installment of Scale Creep's 'Witness Weekend', where a full score or maybe slightly less hardcore toy-wrecking car-pocalypse ushering hobby fiends spent one precious weekend playing with Hotwheels and tiny, tiny machine guns. Welcome to where you'd rather be! CUE EXPLOSIONS!

Explosions of GUTS

Gaslands is a game set in the post apocalyptic world of a Mars-conquered Earth. But there are no tripods to be found here, heat-raying pompous Brits and trying to digest Tom Cruise (SPOILER ALERT: Tom Cruise is indigestible). No, Mars is the techno-haven that everyone wants to get up in, and the only way these radiation-baked savages are getting in is by winning a golden ticket, and to do that they must win the CARMAGED- uh I mean GASLANDS challenge.

"What's that? We can get out of here? And wear pants with whole buttocks??"
Teams of vehicles both ramshackle and high-tech vie for supremacy in a world gone mad - and only the maddest will win. So we rounded up some real turd-throwing smegma-crazies and gave them 'The Briefing' - then, after they'd pulled their (assless) pants back up we put them to work!

"Eh, it's a livin'!"


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AXIOM
What's the coolest ride for a post-apocalyptic man about town? A VW Beetle of course! After minimal searching, Hot Wheels provided, and I picked up a funky stripped down custom Beetle and retro 1950s Beetle pickup. I'm still musing over the gang name. Dub Stars? Dub Steppers? Dub Stylerz?

'Crash', a lightweight over-armed buggy.

'Mule', a handy lugger and mobile weapons platform.

I like the battered stripped down look, so Crash and Mule got minimal additions bar a gun and some armour plating. But because Beetles are so hot, they look the business! I already have another Beetle to add to this pair, plus a split screen VW camper van and a soft top Karmann Ghia. Nothing like pushing a theme to the extreme!


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BULLDOGLOPEZ

I can't think of anything intelligent other than I liked the car and it was inspired by the computer game "Quarantine". SCALE CREEP RULES!!


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CAPTAIN CROOKS

The concept I chose for my starter team is 'allies of convenience'. The mechanic and driver of the Spewmaster 5000 welded their Morris Mini together from the scrap of a dozen wrecked contenders, with a light machinegun they built themselves out of spare parts and hope. 


The Daytona-Lisa Overdrive is a real contender, built around the chassis and shell of a classic racer handed down over generations, but her driver is down on her luck and needs a team to get her through the Gaslands bush-league and into the big-time, seeking an all-important sponsor to have a shot at that golden ticket to Mars...


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AITEAL

"The plan was to have a crew based on slick henry and the dog solitude inhabitants from William Gibson's 'Mona Lisa Overdrive', name a few cars after the weird robotic sculptures henry made in the book, but nothing concrete yet."



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ANTIPIXI

It tried not to do it! I watched as Cheetor and the others made battle cars. I enjoyed looking at their creations thinking: "These are nice, but it's not for me". Then I was buying some toys for my children and saw it....

It was a '68 Mercury Cougar. A classic. A power car of pure joy - and at considerable discount!!!

Well, that was it. I bought it. I bought the NorthStar conversion bits. I stole the use of greenstuff squidged welding from one of my previous tormentors. Then using Cheetor's VERY quick painting method, I made a road worthy vehicle.

It was so much fun, I now have a converted dodge truck waiting for some paint and my 11 year old son will be painting a military jeep alongside me.

Okay and let's not even mention the purchases of : rulebook, tokens and shift dice.

I've also got my eye on a 1/64 scale gas station. OH MY GOD! I'm so weak!!!

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Well Creepers, that's it for part 2 of the Witness Weekend. A lot of toy cars got the CHOP over those few days and I think you'll all agree, the world is a far more wholesome and wonderful pla-

APOCALYPTITS



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