16 March 2017

The First Annual Pro Painter Burger Brush Cup

On a quiet wednesday night/evening/afternoon/morning (depending on time zones), a few guys gathered on a video chat to do what they do best : talking non sense. And painting.
The idea though was motivated by the will to paint like PROS. Exclusively with their worst brush.

Asslessman :

Funnily enough, even though I knew I'd be using my worst brush and would only have an evening to finish it, I wanted to give it my best. I knew from the start I'd try and add freehands of a kind o win some points. The most irritating part was trying to keep a point so most of my time was actually spent twisting the brush to make a fine tip or trying to flatten it to do some edges... a frustrating process but fun. 

Here's the annoying fella I had to spend all the time with :

BulldogLopez/He Of Three Names/Darrin Stephens: 

YO! YO! YOOOOOOO!!!!!! On a frigid day in the Cured Earth that is Southwest Virginia, yours truly dusted off an old brush and rubbed some paint on a good ol' RTB01 Marine. I slapped a metal Cadian backback on him and a resin rifle from Maxine.

I had a pretty big brush to do the job so I settled on a mostly metallic scheme because I figured the pain would do most of the heavy lifting. I used washes and other weathering effect pretty liberally to conceal all the imperfections.

Look at that thing.... you could paint the side of a barn with it.

We painted for about an hour and a half and i'm pretty pleased with the end result. The freehand was done after very minimal goading from Mr. He-Of-No-Ass.

It was loads of fun.... also we were all naked from the waist down.

Rochie :

*Note from the redaction : Due to the outrageous amount and level of swearing, cursing and potential blasphemy, Rochie's words will not be rendered here.*


So when Asslessman told me about this crazy idea I knew I had to take part.  I chose a chaos thug and my priming/basing/glueing brush.

Look at this pitiful thing!
If is abs don't shred you, that hair will!

As Assless said above that hardest part was keeping a point, oh and accidentally licking this nasty tip.  (That's what she said!)  He He He

Hope you enjoyed my efforts.  A bit rough in some spots, but you saw the brush I was using. ;) 

Whiskey Priest

My weapon off choice was an old Citadel Detail brush that had been cut off half way down the length of the bristles in order to get rid of some clogged up paint (i'm not very nice to my brushes). Who ever came up with this plan was either insane or genius but he will forever be known by the sobriquet of 'The Quitter!'

Squinting into the camera and straining to hear the mumblings of the other international nerds we bravely fought against out tools in order to try to produce miniatures of a quality of which we could be proud (although that may not have been the whole point of the exercise but as everybody else misunderstood the brief we were OK)

In between sucking our bellies in when spouses appeared on screen to berate us for our overly close relationships or to help with IT matters or cooing over babies and other assorted interested small people I actually managed to paint the couple of likely characters below. 
Unlike some of the others I had no point at all on my brush so spent the 90 mins learning new ways to get detail from various edges and tufts. Still, they turned out pretty good.

And with a very naked Bababoo appearing on screen and the return of my own gorgeous spouse it was time to bid adieu to the The First Annual Pro Painter Burger Brush Cup. Hopefully it won't be a year till the next one.


  1. That was fucking great craic lads, thanks for having me! I'd just like to note (fucking censorship) that I'll never, ever attempt freehand like that with a shite brush again, especially when in the company of such luminaries as yourselves

  2. Excellent efforts, excellent results. You should keep these brushes in circulation permanently. Well done gentlemen!

  3. This is pure epic goodness! I hope someone recorded all that potential blackmail dialogue...:)

    1. We couldn't understand anything anyone was saying because of the various accents. We just showed our genitals and laughed a lot.

  4. Brilliant! - love the idea and you get a real sense of the fun you all had with it! The fact that I'd be happy with some of these results using my best brush goes without saying!

  5. Seriously impressive output lads.

    What next?

    Blindfold dragon wing pinning?
    Wet blending without water, on a motorcycle?
    Painting a Mordheim band to completion while having your testicles repeatedly slammed in a filing cabinet drawer?

    I first one can't wait to not do the next one too :)

    1. Does that last sentence even make sense?

    2. It does if you're a big buzzkill baby

    3. Paul we enjoyed having you there and then not having you there.....Kidding of course. HE HE HE

  6. I'm disappointed that my naked bear chest wasn't featured; as my sole contribution, this snub will not go unanswered!

    1. Its not really naked if its covered in a robust layer of hair

  7. It's a good thing I didn't have any porn on my laptop when I took the snapshot. You can totally see my browser tabs..tee hee.

  8. Some of these paint jobs are better than my best :(

    Maybe I should fuck up all my brushes and paint my mini's up this way from now on?

    Just out of curiosity, what sort of time zone differences were you guys dealing with? Was it more than 12 hours apart? Must have a been a challenge all in itself just to get everyone online at the same time, let alone painting too :)

    Next comp should be painting up a mini with Crayons....only with your toes :P

    1. Crooks is probably a ten hour difference from us colonials. He lives in the future and has no shirts.

  9. Painting, profanity and nudity? Sounds awesome. Great paintjobs with horrifying brushes.

  10. Solid silliness. The nudity is right up my street too.

    When I started painting minis, it was with toothpicks cos I never had enough pocketmoney to buy brushes.

  11. What Cheetor said! Geeze! The burger brush cup? And you have to use your very nastiest (smallish) brush? I am impressed. And my vocabulary is enlarged. :)

  12. bonkers, sheer bonkers!

    I'm impressed you lot managed to get some decent paint jobs done with those pieces of crap you called brushes LOL.