01 April 2016




A Warhammer Fantasy Battles 8th edition report with Chaos Dwarves vs Orcs and Goblins

by Captain Crook and Cheetor

Recently I visited Ireland to see Cheetor. We had planned this for a long time and had an epic battle planned. This is Scrambled Egg ridge. We didnt have the terrain to make a ridge but we assumed the couch was the edge!

 The objective of the game was to take and hold the building in the middle. Cheetor was playing his beloved army of orcs and goblins. He just loves paiting hoard armies, I can't beleive anyone would want to paint 50 goblins!!

This is Cheetors main units, he had a large unit of goblins with his general and magician. Cheetor says it's better to take goblin heroes because they are cheap, even if its not fluffy to have goblins in charge of ORCS.

Cheetor sunk a heap of points into his unit of 12 river trolls. This unit will be hard to beat.

Orc stone throwers are greatly feared across the lands. Cheetor brought three to the fight and set them as a battery on the hill.

This is a unit of high elfs we are using as a proxy for goblin wolf riders. Wolf riders are great fast cav options and can be a real thorn int he side.

On my side we have some blunderbuss warriors! And the fearsome K'daii monsters. These creatures are made of magic and fire and metal which actually burn themselves every turn and do themselves damage! They can even die!! But i forgot to roll for that in this game.

Chaos dwarves warriors, and some Black orcs. Im not sure why Chaos dwarves can use orcs but why not huh??

I took alot of hobgoblins for this game. They are cheap and can really hold up enemy forces for a while if they dont run away haha

FIRST TURN! Cheetor advances his forces but the troll unit fails it's stupidity test!! Cheetor forgot to put his general closer to let them use his LD.

The orcs and goblins advance towards the objective building/

One of the stone throwers misfired and exploded! Cheetor was really upset at this point, it wasnt his turn.

A stone misses the chaos Dwarves units by not much, it was a close call!

Turn TWO. I moved my CDs up towards the main force of orcs and goblins. CD dwarfs dont have very good movement but the hobgob units are pretty good at moving. The kdaii advance right for the worlf riders intent to smash! I fired the blunderbusses but they are far out of range. Cheetor told me that before but it;s best to check.

The trolls fail their test again! Their LD of 4 is not high.

The orcs capture the objective! Nooo! It will be a hard fight to get them out of that box.

Cheetor pushed the wold riders up in a CHARGE! The k'daii accept the charge.

ANOTHER stone thrower explodes! Cheetor almost cried whrn his battery lost another unit. I had to laugh

And that was the end of the battle! Cheetor conceeded that the game was finsihed and he had captured the objective. He was really angry about his troll s and threw the tape measure at them.

Stay tuned for the next battle treport!


  1. I suppose it's all because Cheetor wrote his army list 5 minutes prior to the game but I think there's a lost opportunity at optimisation in the number og trrops per squad but if you guys want to play it soft, that's your business.
    Always nice to see guys haveing a good one anyway.
    Special kudos to Paul's manicure, that guy can take care of his fingers for sure.

    1. I didnt field a manicure. I think that using Dark eleves with orks and goblins is cheesy.

    2. The ally rules are really good dark elges dont get trusted b6 anyone even themselves!! I've got a big horse we can use as a manicure next time

  2. It was a grate game anyway and worth the trip all the way from Austria I reckon :)

    The roles for the artery pieces drove me mad though. I dont think that such bad things shiould happen in game coz of dice and stuff and measuring.

    Bettar luck next time Craptain! :D :D :D LOLZOFL!!1!!!

    1. Pasta la vista baybee ha has! It will be judgment day s for you next time!

  3. Would you guys stop, I'm trying to work over here! LMAO Hilarious battle report, and damn the luck there Cheetor! I'm sure most opponents fall when facing the mighty might of Captain Crooooooooks! ;)

    1. I've got a win/los ration at my lgfs of 11/2 with my CDs they are a very hard list Cheeror was lucky today he got the objective and we had to stop because he had a tanty and his wife told him tomgo to his room for a bit

    2. Well thats a bit of an eggagggerton, hahalolzfllz. The "tnanty" was because I saw teh latest GW prise hike!!!1 Thos guys are totally out of there minds if they think tha I will pay that much four some plastic crap! Except i will probably haha has!

  4. Well Obviously Cheetor's Meta was vastly superior to old Crooksy's and his last minute army build maximized the effect of that superior meta. Duh? I'm not sure why you even bothered with the dice...the victor was clear from the beginning...you could have just spent that time stroking your beards and hurmphing about the state of gaming these days...

    1. Well I dont always not agree with you about that for definite! BUt it was all fine bacaue h didnt even ha ha splodes AWesom lolz jhahaha !

      But its defiintely the Spririt of Oldhammmar except when it isnt because.

      Thank Bule lollz!

    2. Lol bule our local metal is very tough competition but I have an almost perfect kdr I just got unlicky this time next time!

  5. Love that artillery template - is it limited edition WFB or something new from AOS? Very shiny!

    You should have taken Crown of Command for those trolls.

    Did no one get near enough to be affected by the smelly tree? Shame.

    Great game though!

    1. Thanks thantsanT we couldnt find any temples cheetors house is really messy but he does like pies. That plant made an excellent forest proxy but his wife got cross when it leaked on the rug (i think its a parslee??)

  6. Hah! I hope you guys finished in time for MacGyver!

    Well done - the finest example of archeogaming on the internet today. Bonus points if you can proxy a kitchen sponge in the next one. If you use it as a blue dragon, then you win the whole internet!

    1. Lol I tried to proxy Cheetors cat as a k'dai destroyer because they never made a mdel for it and i suck at conversions I tried to build one from a chaos defiler but it looked crap anywayn i painted it but the glue broke

  7. I was reading Alexi Sayle's memoir and he recalled he saw a poster for the sex pistol's first ever gig and intended to go, but then he went to a different pub and got drunk.
    Until I read this report and realised I was not part of this seminal game I never understood how Alexi felt :(