17 March 2017

The Hero Quest Hero Quest: The Fourth Orc

He's Mean and GREEN!!

Thoughts on Orcs by BulldogLopez

Orcs are green things that live in holes and eat humans for fun. They like working for bad guys with loads of treasure because humans like treasure and Orcs like to eat humans for fun.

Did I mention that orcs like to eat humans for fun? They do.

Here is a picture of a cleaver.


One time a silly human was wandering around the forest (probably looking for treasure) when he ran into this orc. The human took out some white dice and threw them at the orc. He laughed a silly human laugh when the dice showed three silly shields.

The orc cut off the human's arms and laughed. His joke was better.


The human didn't scream for long because he ran out of blood. Humans are so silly.


This orc was painted with green paint because green is the best color. His tunic is blue because this orc sometimes like the color blue. Did I mention green is the best color? The cleaver is covered in human blood.

Humans are silly.

18 comments:

  1. Great, now I can move on to rotten tormenting Blue about his orc. Excellent work!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. Forever will they dominate your destiny

      Delete
    2. You've found a brother in arms there Crooksy :DDD

      Delete
  3. This orc is great, he's the greatest. Many people say he's great, great people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is the orciest orc ever, ever. Believe me.

      Delete
  4. Orcier than Orc McOrk of the clan McOrk on St PatOrcs day!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good work on the orc. It's great. Thanks for taking part.

    The words are very good. They must have taken you months.

    KTHXBAI

    ReplyDelete
  6. Where can I get one of those cleavers? Amazon?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At one time you could get them by collecting stamps from your local grocer and turning them in for lovely toys. And they pair up well with the flatwear you could, at one time, get from the bottom of boxes of laundry detergent. The moral of the story? Don't cross the people that buy groceries or laundry detergent. Especially if they're fond of green. (I suppose I really should go change that load of laundry now. Been procrastinating about that. It was so much less work when my lair was in the basement with my washing machine.)

      Delete
  7. All other Orc skin tones are bullshit! Greenskin 4 Life!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cleaver orc is by far the bestest.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Very green that fellow.

    Green + Blue make a fishy mess.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lovely green fellow! Indeed, green is the best color. And orkish cleavers should be shiny and red . . . at least until the "paint" turns brown.

    ReplyDelete