05 January 2018

Riffing on the Rip-offs

Like a rotting corpse crawling from the grave to chew your innards and suck your brains, Scale Creep rises again to bring you more genius from the gutter.


This time we're going to lash together a post based on the flimsiest of ideas and make it float down the river of inspiration through sheer force of will.


Being gamers of a particular persuasion, we are always on the lookout for means of fuelling our ludicrous ideas. New madness to bring to the table top in inch high form. Being lazy old men we love to be sitting on our backsides in order to find these nuggets of ingenuity. And if we are going to rip off other peoples ideas then it's even better if we are ripping off people who have already ripped of other people!
Ever wondered what Rogue Trader's Helsreach taken to the disco would look like ?






The Italian film industry was notorious for pumping out cheap imitations of internationally successful  films. The directors and producers weren't interested in making pieces of art, they were just interested in making some money, blowing shit up and occasionally getting some nudity on screen.


Star Wars brought a host of celluloid space nonsense to the screen but that's not what caught my eye this morning. John Carpeneter's 'Escape from New York', Walter Hill's 'The Warriors' and 'Mad Max' and 'Mad Max 2:The Road Warrior' gave a bunch of gung-ho Italian Directors and their equally nonchalant producers, free reign to produce a fistful of PostApocPloitation movies (Wasteploitation? Dystopploitation? PreApocPloitation?).


Having only discovered these silly things this morning and failed to watch any of them I am now an avowed expert (that's all the expertise you need for the internet surely?)


So what kinds of delights to these films have to offer us?

Caution : The information provided might not be 100% accurate.



1990 the Bronx Warriors

The Bronx warriors focuses on a half native american, half east german hero taking voguing to another level. He will have to face the infamous BBQ knight and the dreaded smelly finger gang.





2019 After the fall of New York

Ryan Power had his trousers stolen by a mysterious species of alien. He's back with a vengeance. And a laser rifle.



Endgame

Former rollerball referee, Justin Savage has had enough. The game will end when he says it does.




2020 Texas Gladiators

In 2020, few of the former foundations of civilisations are left. Chuck Fury will ensure his right to bear arms remains...




The New Barbarians

In a time where Chrome is the most prized posession; Joesph MacShine will do anything to keep it from falling into the wrong hands.





Escape from the Bronx

Navsats in 2024 aren't what they use to be. After missing the 241st to Wakefield, Randy Lost is compelled to making is way out the HARD way...



She

The touching story of a young woman fighting hard to gain respect and recognition in mid 70's suburban Australia.



The Atlantis Interceptors

In a world gone mad, only one man can Intercept Atlantis. Mike McBiggun is that man. He doesn't know what an Interceptor is and he doesn't know where Atlantis is but if anyone can perform an interception of a mythical continent, it's him. And his gun.




Warriors of the year 2072

Dave has a new jumpsuit. It's really tight. The only one tighter is the black guy that lives down the street. They both try on their really tight jumpsuit and go for a drink downtown. They meet a girl carrying a funny helmet and that's when Dave's night gets really weird....






Exterminators of the year 3000

They said only the cockroaches would survive the nuclear holocaust, but they were WRONG. The Exterminators are here, and they are ready to KILL those smartassed bugs!





Rush

Jacob Benson has just 35 minutes to get to his job at the 7-11 but first he must beat the RUSH! He'll have to DRIVE a hard bargain to survive this commute!




Warrior of the Lost World

A company that bought all the army surplus Helicopter from the US government have decided that the best way to maximise the profit of their new transport system is make sure that it is monopoly. Therefore all other methods of transport need to be chased out of the city! The free bikers and Truckers aren't going to put up with that though. They are going to fight back, they ain't getting in no fascist helipcopter taxi!







Final Executor

When all the other executors have finished executing, then you must face the Final One. Dying has never been this repetitive!



VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS

Someone has discovered that all the Jacksons are Aliens and what they need is the brains of screaming adolescents to survive. Only one man and his guitar stands in their way and he ain't no Slash!







Now we're not going to suggest that you watch all these films in order to soak up the shonky deliciousness.
Lord knows our time is precious enough, all those minis aren't going to paint themselves! But if you watch the glorious nonsense of the trailers and marvel at the weirdly proportioned poster art then all sorts of ideas will come bounding into your head. New gangs, New vehicles, New scenery and most importantly New Scenarios.
In fact watching one of the trailers for the above films should give you enough material for an entire campaign if you are drinking the right kind of alcohol.

So come on! Lets get to it.

Bringing the Italian Rip-offapocalypse to a table near you!

9 comments:

  1. Well, that takes care of what I will be watching for the next few Sunday mornings while painting.

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  2. Looks like ALF really hit the gym (steroids?) for his role in 2019.

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  3. Amazing. How do you find stuff like this? I can imagine knowing a handful due to random exposure in your youth, but there is a treasure trove here.

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  4. I’m already getting ideas....amazing find! All of you 😉

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  5. I've always thought that knockoff films often provide better inspiration than the originals, at least in gaming terms.

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  6. Confirmed. Endgame is a crappier version of Running Man

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  7. What? Warriors of the Wasteland didn't make the cut? I also found myself intrigued by Final Executor, watch out or you'll go to probate! Oh and BEWBS!

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    1. From my research Wasteland Warriors and The New Barbarians is the same movie. I could be wrong tho.

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