SHITEHAWK!!! The Roleplaying game™

In the world of SHITEHAWK!!! The Roleplaying game™, YOU get to decide the action - just roll the dice and be transported to a realm beyond imagination, common sense and our tiny budget!

Microcheating

The latest internet induced fear to sweep the communication pathways of the world is the concept of Microcheating. In the world of loving relationships with another person (or orc, or car or 20 sided dice, we don't judge here at scale creep) Microcheating is essentially any activity that you do that could be seen as disloyal to your partner. Things such as liking someones picture on social media, complementing a new haircut, sharing an 'in joke' with a colleague. All of these could be described as cheating on your significant other because you should be giving them all your attention, GODAMMIT ALL OF YOUR ATTENTION!!!!

This got me to thinking though, as gamers we do all sorts of things that are probably against the rules but aren't really 'shagging the blonde girl with the big boobs from accounts on the managers desk while your wife is at home with the screaming brats' kind of cheating. We do them on occasion though, we microcheat during games, whether we're being competitive or not, you may recognise yourself in some of these.

The Circus of Corruption - A Pustulent Comedy

The fine team over at Old School Miniatures are currently running an excellent Kickstarter for a hugely characterful Circus of Corruption set, comprising plague-ridden daemonic circus performers literally dripping with charm (and bile).

Go and check it out: The Circus of Corruption Kickstarter

The OSM team were kind enough to send a complete set of pre-release resin master casts of the Circus of Corruption to split amongst the Scale Creep crew. Here's what we did with them:

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Errol Phlegm by Axiom

Errol Phlegm is one of the Brethren from the set - I guess they're henchmen or lackeys perhaps. I panted Errol up with plenty of washes and drybrushing, paying particular attention to his rather nasty-looking swollen ankles!

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Frederick Looger, Manny Bokely and Tweedledump esq. by the Asslessman

I got five of the sculpts in the mailbox (I had he luck to pick which) so I was really eager to play with my brushes on them! I really like the completely insane vibe of them, they're like Ledger's Joker or Nicholson's Torrance with hygiene issues.  Don't ask me why I find that appealing but as a subject for miniatures I do find it pretty cool.

I kept the palette minimal on mine to enhance the grim look of them, I wanted a circus flavoured corruption rather than a corrupted circus if you see what I mean.

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Copriolanus, Gunter Firkenshart, King Smear and three Rotlings, by Cheetor

As a fan of Carnivàle, The League of Gentlemen and generally unpleasant miniatures, these models were right up my Cadbury alley.  I reckoned that the sculpting style would reward a rapid approach predominantly using washes and drybrushing, so that’s what I did.  Nothing very fancy.

I am planning to get the other eleven circus folk from the starting range painted to match the six above as soon as I possibly can.  With the straightforward paint job above I reckon that I can fire out the rest of the Circus pretty rapidly and have them ready to hit the table in a couple of weeks with a bit of luck.

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Bob, Larry, Jim, Little Bob and Emanualle Snicklethwayte-Chomdley Pierce III Junior by Whiskeypriest

I has painted somes stuff. It has all the luverly colours wot i likes and stuff. They looks all gooey and yukky like that they has a snotty nose and sneesy bums. I likes these funny little men wot i didied on my holidays. I really likes the one wiv the little rubber chicken. I did liek to paint the little funny mens cos i got to use my bestest brushes and make farty noises as i did it. I also like to taste the paints when i licks my brush.

 By whiskey Priest aged 42 (and one qaurters).

Gang painting - The Scale Creep Methods

When it comes to our painting it seems that the most common goal at the moment is a 'Gang Sized' project. Around 10 or so figures in a thematic group, whether it be a unit, a warband, a gang or some other kind of group, it's the kind of thing each of us will do a couple of in a year (at least).

But how do we do it? Each of tends to work in isolation, showing WIP's or finished items to group but we never have the opportunity to sit and watch how the others work through it. Occasionally WIP's will illicit responses such as, 'Why the fuck do you do it like that, you awkward sod?' or 'For the love of god will you tidy your painting desk!', occasionally 'Tell me you only keep your paints in a plastic bag to wind Paul up' can be heard over the tumult of 'Cut your fucking fingernails!'.

Artistic view of WIPsters group painting, actual process may differ

So we thought it might be educational to get each of the Scale Creeps that are willing, awake, sober and paying attention, to blether on a little bit about how that go about painting a gang of mini's (mostly so the rest of us can point and laugh).

Of course we all have our views and it's only natural we'd want to confront them in the most gentlemanly way. Here's our personal observations on each other's methods :

Assleman :JB
WP
Axiom
Captain Crooks 

Necromunda High - Why Necromunda is a teen comedy.

With the release of the new edition of Necromunda, many of us have got back into the lore, wondering how to approach this new immersion in the underhive.

On a saturday morning (in the old world that is), some of us were discussing the basic psychology of the main houses (which started with what kind of marine chapter you'd most likely expect in the underhive and how Imperial fists suck)[Editors note: you suck].

Then the revelation that the major houses in Necromunda are just the archetypes of teen comedies just fell on us.

Now just play that song and follow us...

Why would you make the ghost of HG Wells cry?

Playing war-games with unpainted figures makes HG wells cry. He is also dead. Therefore it's his ghost that is crying. Making a ghost cry is not big or clever. It is mean. Why are you being mean to the Ghost of HG Wells?

Lets examine the reasons you have and rip them to shreds.

How to count painted models ?

It's a common thing amongst painters to count the number of models painted over a given period to see or show how productive we are. While most of us get satisfaction from exceding the numbers from the previous period and frustration from not meeting them, one thing is far less common amongst us : the way to count painted models.

"How is that even a question ?" 

I've heard it in the back, don't lie. Well if you're asking the question, it probably means you do not paint enough models, or don't count them or even worse... you don't care.

Do you feel we should count bases, heads, models, profiles ?

Now we at Scale Creep® believe that fun is too serious a thing to mess with and if something is worth doing, then its worth doing right.

We're going to expose you to the multiple model counting techniques we've developped over time so that you can pick the right one (the Predator one).

Riffing on the Rip-offs

Like a rotting corpse crawling from the grave to chew your innards and suck your brains, Scale Creep rises again to bring you more genius from the gutter.


This time we're going to lash together a post based on the flimsiest of ideas and make it float down the river of inspiration through sheer force of will.


Being gamers of a particular persuasion, we are always on the lookout for means of fuelling our ludicrous ideas. New madness to bring to the table top in inch high form. Being lazy old men we love to be sitting on our backsides in order to find these nuggets of ingenuity. And if we are going to rip off other peoples ideas then it's even better if we are ripping off people who have already ripped of other people!
Ever wondered what Rogue Trader's Helsreach taken to the disco would look like ?

The tale of Wilson, Octopus extraordinaire

Sometimes, things, just "happen", chracters just come to life without us having to do anything with it. A few days ago, that just happened.
Sean posted this picture to us and the verdict was unanimous :

The First Annual Pro Painter Burger Brush Cup

On a quiet wednesday night/evening/afternoon/morning (depending on time zones), a few guys gathered on a video chat to do what they do best : talking non sense. And painting.

The idea though was motivated by the will to paint like PROS. Exclusively with their worst brush.

The Creepmas Secret Santa

The Creeps organised a Secret Santa gift exchange last December, with each participant getting a single miniature from another anonymous Creep on Xmas Eve.

We Wish You a Merry Creepmas - Part 3: The War on Creepmas

"Season's Greetings to all and to all a-"

"What did you just say...?"

"I said... seasons... greetings to a- wait! What are you doing? Put that sword down what are youAAAAAARGHHHkttktthhhhhh......"

"Let that be a lesson to ALL of you! I am the Creepmas Elf, and 'The War on Creepmas' just got real!"

We Wish You A Merry Creepmas - Part 2

In which batch two of the Wipsters manage to get their Christmas themed figures on the computer and displayed for all to see!

Whiskey Priest: A Christmas No-el

'Oh Hello. Err..Do you want to come in for a mince pie and some milk?'

'No'

'Oh, Brandy perhaps? Some mulled wine?'

'No'

'Ok. Is there something else you'd like?'

'No'

'Em. Can I help you with anything then?'

'No'

'So are you just going to stand at my door looking grumpy? I mean, it's not even dark yet and I do have a chimney that you could use. Is it the chimney? Have I not cleaned it properly? The little boy I sent up there said it was all clear right before he... '

'No'

'What is it then? You can't just stand there freaking me out. Are you going to say anything else but no?'

'No'

'Aw come on! This is so weird! Why are you doing this? Look, you must be Santa, you've got the pre-cola look going on, you've park your sleigh in my flower bed....aww come one that with red nose just shat in my water bucket!'

'No'

'He did, i just watched him. He fucking did!'

'No'

'Right. Thats it! Fuck you! Get off my property, i want you and your mob of stupid big antelopes of my lawn'

'No'

'Aaaaarrgggh!' Slam!

Cheetor: Bark the Herald Angels Sing

My local-ish Warhammer Store is running a competition, to build and paint a winter themed Warhammer miniature.

Naughty

After deciding to take part, choosing a model was surprisingly easy.  I painted an old Citadel Space Santa in 2014, so I figured that adding a Space-Xmas tree to accompany him on his interstellar breaking and entering spree would be apt.

My submission would be a motile, bio-weapon armed, skull covered, homicidal Xmas treeperson from space, to hang around with Santa from space.  Why not?

Not Nice.

Because kitbashing space Xmas tree people miniatures is pain in the arse.

Luckily also in 2014 I made a few space dryads (long before the Sylvaneth came along and stole my shtick, sciencedammit) so I had a fair idea how to proceed.

This microproject was quite enjoyably seasonal. I have to say.

There is something very Judge Dredd about an armed sci-fi Santa and his armed Xmas treebeast, so 28mm Mega City One is where I am most likely to get some gaming use out of "Holly" I reckon.

Thats also why she has a third arm/branch holding a big ol' alien gun behind her back.

Festive PEW-PEWs to all.

We Wish You a Merry Creepmas! - Part 1

With the traditional festivities for the end of the year going on, some WIPsters have decided to celebrate them the best (if not only) way they know: painted models. Below are the first set of festive miniatures, with a second post due if more of our intrepid Wipsters can dodge wrapping things and drinking stuff in order to paint their entries before Christmas is upon us.

Santa is coming.

Now take a seat, a nice drink and enjoy the quiet joy of painted models before the frenzy of calories, children screaming all around, sitting next to your in-laws and such wonderful times.

Asslessman: Nativity in the Hive.

After having both my space Santa and and Sanity Klaws painted last year, I was short on Christmas themed miniatures I must say.

Things is, I'm absolutely not fond of the red and green associated with that time of the year and the thought of giving a red nose and candy stick to some other "normal" model was beyond me...

But then what ? Oh there's this other Christmas story yes, the one about the birth of a kid whose 33 years on earth have changed the world afterward.

Now here's something I feel more comfortable with, I had just the perfect couple of models for it and I had the idea to make this  fun.

So here's my Christmas entry, a sinister nativity scene with the birth of a child that might very well change the face of his world...

Axiom: Candlemas in The Slump

Every year, just around the winter equinox, inhabitants of The Slump gather round the dung fires to share a meal of roast hag-lice and a glass of radshine. Legend has it that the infamous bounty hunter, The Blessed Sniklaus, visits The Slump, delivering gifts to the needy and worthy and summary justice to the good. The Blessed Sniklaus is a barrel-chested man with a booming voice and an expansive dark beard. He rides a sledded grav-sled, laden with packages and pulled by a tireless beast. The gifts are handed out by his grumpy squat happy little helper, accompanied by the festive jingling of his slung ammo belts. So as you hear the jolly "Ho, ho, ho!" and the whine of the grav-sled, you must ask yourself, have you been naughty or nice?



99% of all Space Santas are red with white trim. Fact. Cheetors's is. Asslessman's isn't, but he's a maverick (I am also a maverick. Your maverick measurement criteria are suspect - Cheetor) My Space Santa is less seasonal. More Brian Blessed than Richard Attenborough. Bombastic, unhinged, charismatic, dangerous to know!

Mr Saturday: Santa, Chaos Style

"So, how many skulls did you reap for Khorne this year sonny? Let's see if I have a mutation or daemon-flavoured lollipop in here for you..."

This is my first time painting something festive, and I had just the fellow. I spent some time tracking this guy down, and this was the perfect opportunity to get him under the brush. I give you Chaos Santa. What does he have in his sack for you?

For a rather venerable old sculpt, this lad is pretty big. That's a 32mm base he's striding over. He has a fair few nooks and crannies to get paint into, but he's a lovely chunky fellow and he's going to make sure you have a merry Christmas. The Gods demand it. Especially Khorne. Mad for Christmas that lad. Look at his colours, red, black, gold? All he needs is a big sack of skulls to give out and a fake beard. "HO HO HO MORTALS, KHORNE DEMANDS JOY! RIVERS OF BL- I MEAN JOY. PILES OF SK- AH, MERRIMENT, RISING UP TO THE SKY! CHAOS BLESS US, EVERY ONE!"

I had never used snow effects before, I used some slush and snow from Hudson & Allen I've had for years. It turned out pretty okay I think, I even found a bauble to throw in there.

It might be Santa, but he still has a nice meaty axe tucked into his belt. That ain't for cutting down the Christmas tree I'll warrant.

Stay tuned for Creepmas Part 2!

HEROCULTS

Out of nowhere, while the WIPSters were casually talking about yoga breastfeeding, the nutritional content of vampire urine and the merits of different epoxy putties, the subject of the sad Heroquest 25th boardgame arose. That's when Crooks found that picture and everything changed forever...

(beware, non-sense ahead...)

The Dorty Double Dozen

What a special treat we have today, fellow creeps. As the first of the battle reports from the amazing Knavecon weekend in Ireland, we are proud to present:

And 'friends', in

Meet Your Maker: An Introspective Blog

There comes a time in every ongoing group 'flow-of-consciousness' type chat scenario where someone will suddenly say, usually in the middle of a frank discussion about the current global political landscape, "OoO! If we were minis, what sculptor would do us?"

In this instance it was Mr Saturday, and we managed to boil this massively vain, self-appraising concept down to the following answers:

What do you mean you've never seen....?

"- Dude, I think I haven't seen that movie...
- Jeeeeez, how is that even possible !"

There are some films out there that could be considered 'formative' - they help define a period, create a culture of references, in-jokes, memes and fond memories. These are films that 'everyone' has seen, that 'everyone' can relate to, that everyone just knows.

Except there's always that one friend who goes "what's Bill and Ted?"

And there is a collective hush.

And someone says "Dude how the fuck can you not have seen Bill and Ted??"

Most of those films are like made of bricks of imagination we each process with our own imagination to come up with new ideas and creativity.

For Fantasy, those films would be :

- Bakshi's LOTR and Wizards

- Willow
- The Black Cauldron

- The Dark Crystal

- Conan & Red Sonja

- Heavy Metal

- Evil Dead

- Excalibur

- Highlander

- Legend

- The Princess Bride

And for Sci-fi :

- Bladerunner

- Starwars

- Dune

- Running Man

- Terminator

- Alien

- Aliens

- Total Recall

- Robocop

- Flash Gordon

- Escape From New York

- Mad Max (and 2)

- Wrath of Khan

- Brazil

- Predator

And so it begins...

Teamwork baby, it's all about teamwork really.

Have something in your teeth? Need someone to hold your hand while you cross the street? Need someone to hold your hair (or beard) while you're throwing up? Think you can build that table, paint those models and play those games all on your own?

REALLY?

Teamwork it is I tell you.

And because the internet can offer you a vast array of goodness from cat musicians to repulsive sexual intercourse between humans and other things, we've decided to raise the whole level by uniting the most handsome gamers and modellists around to provide the finest quality hobby blog to the world.

But who are these hobbyists ? Well just take a look :